If Only Roses Could Compare
by rune101
Summary: Kisame/Itachi. While Itachi is out on a mission Kisame decides that one little one-night stand with Hidan couldn't hurt anybody. That is until Itachi shows up right in the middle of it...  Lemon, future fluff.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer~ I do not own nor do I claim to own the characters depicted herein. I do however own the stories and plots in which I have created.

A/N: lately I've been a bit stressed with one of my main stories, 'Under the Silver Moon'. I decided to write this to both take a break and have fun with writing again. Reviews would be greatly appreciated.

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Kisame rolled over on his side. He always had trouble sleeping when Itachi wasn't there. Itachi's side of the bed was neatly made and smelled of him. A heady mixture of roses, soap, the slightly tangy smell of sweat, and an unidentified sweet smell that was just the Uchiha.

Kisame sat straight up on the bed. There was no chance he was going to get any sleep tonight. His feelings were too jumbled. He was worrying about Itachi. He should have been back by now. But then again a part of him wasn't worried; it would take a lot to kill him. Or even injure him.

A part of Kisame wondered if wherever Itachi was, he missed him. Would Itachi miss him? The mere thought was sounded absolutely ridiculous. Itachi was trained specifically to never show emotion. This had been true even in their 'relationship'. There were never any 'I love yous', romantic moments, and they hardly kissed. When they did kiss it was forceful; an attempt to satisfy a deep and powerful need: lust.

Walking out of his and Itachi's room, Kisame stretched his back by placing one arm behind it and leaning back a little. As he did this a small yawn escaped his lips.

The first thing he noticed was Deidara in the kitchen arguing with Tobi. Or rather Deidara yelling at Tobi while Tobi stood there with a wide unseen grin; not quite comprehending why he was being yelled at.

Kisame chuckled,"What did you do now Tobi?"

Tobi looked over at Kisame, scratching the back of his head he said,"Tobi didn't do anything. Tobi is a good boy."

Deidara had both fists clenched. His face was already deep red and Kisame found himself lucky to not be Tobi."I think Deidara is on his period", Kisame joked, narrowly missing getting hit with a pan.

"Kisame-san don't leave Tobi", Tobi said turning away from Deidara's wrath. Despite Deidara's temper Kisame could tell this fight was a bit playful. Neither were going to bite each others heads off. But after the comment Kisame made he couldn't quite garantee his own safety around the narscisstic artist.

"Uhh...I have something to attend to...", Kisame said pointing towards the living room and booking it out of there.

He was starting to forget about all his past exhaustion. The only thing he was thinking about was the sanity of his fellow Akatsuki members.

Glancing over at the table, Kisame saw Kakuzu adding up bills. That seemed normal enough. If not for the sight that followed next. Zetsu was sitting next to him munching on...fingers...? Kisame thought he was going to be ill.

'Okay...there is nothing normal about these people, well at least Zetsu', Kisame thought inwardly.

Deciding to find a quiet place to think, Kisame made his way to the couch. It was out of earshot of Deidara's hormonal argument, and far enough out of sight from the other shinobi.

Itachi was hiding in the shade of a tree, silently observing his target. His mission had been to get as much information as possible from this double-shinobi. The man was a spy for Konoha, but secretly relaying information back and forth.

"So you know the exact location of the Akatsuki hideout?" Several Anbu were around the man, on high alert.

"Yes, but first let us continue on back to the Leaf village before I say anything. It will be much safer that way."

Quietly Itachi whipped out and threw a single shuriken. The shuriken was thrown with such force that it passed through one Anbu's neck only to hit another Anbu straight in the heart.

The other Anbu's fell down in one fell swoop. "I can't let you have all the fun Itachi."

Itachi didn't have to turn around to recognize Kisame's obnoxious laugh and headstrong, or perhaps foolish demeaner."What are you doing here. I thought Leader-sama's orders were quite clear that I go alone."

Itachi glared at Kisame and the man faultered. Wait he faultered? Kisame was use to Itachi's glares. So use to them that he usually smiled when Itachi's face twisted in slight annoyance. This wasn't the usual Kisame.

Kisame took a step towards Itachi. Itachi was carefully observing him."Come on, Itachi. The mission's over; we should return home now."

What another oddity. How did he know the specifics of the mission. As far as Itachi knew, this was about a high B ranked, possibly low A ranked mission. The mission was high enough for the details to be labeled as classified'. Besides, Kisame was never interested in missions that did not involve himself. As selfish as that may seem it was a trait that all the Akatsuki, even Itachi possesed.

If Leader-sama thought he couldn't handle this mission he would have sent someone else. Despite the fact that Kisame was strong, his chakra and power did not surpass that of Itachi. If Leader-sama truly didn't believe in his capibilites he would have sent Hidan, an immortal, or made it a group mission.

"Come on buddy, let's go."

Did Kisame just call him buddy? Kisame wore his infamous half-smile. This too was an oddity. Kisame saved that smile for his prey. Around Itachi Kisame always wore a kind, if not amused smile.

Itachi made an unseen handsign as Kisame took another step closer.

Kisame made his way to the comfy and peaceful looking couch. This would be the perfect place to relax and reflect upon things further. All things considered, it was hard to think while listening to an argument, and more than slightly disturbing to watch Zetsu eat...Kisame didn't even want to have to think about whose those fingers belonged to...or use to belong to anyways.

Plopping down on the couch, Kisame let out a sigh of relief. But then moved around awkwardly. The couch was uncomfortably lumpy. Using both hands Kisame attempted to push down whatever lumpy object that was on the couch cushion. It was a face.

"Get the fuck off me you fucking bastard."

Kisame wasn't a bastard. He was a 'fucking bastard'. Such a foul mouth could only belong to one person. Hidan.

"Are you hard of hearing?", Hidan yelled,"I said get the fu-

Hidan was silenced by Kisame covering his mouth with a hand. Kisame looked up to see Kakuzu laughing at the sight. Kakuzu had been watching for quite some time from halfway across the room.

"Careful, he bites.", Kakuzu said grabbing his bills and calculator and heading towards his room.

Apparently the warning was given out too late as Kisame felt Hidan's mouth clamp down on his hand. He let out a loud yelp,"Ouch!"

Removing his hand from Hidan's mouth, Kisame looked up at Hidan...who was completely naked. Save for the Akatsuki robe which hung open, he was stark naked.

"Why are you naked!", Kisame asked.  
Hidan gave a smile. His usual creepy blood insinuating smile present on his pale face."My body is my nightly gift to Lord Jashin."

Kisame rolled his eyes. So him being nude was another one of his weird religious rituals? Kisame never did give the man credit for being sane. In fact he was just the opposite. He was definitly insane, though most of the Akatsuki members were to some extent.

Getting up and walking out of the hideout Kisame remembered he was only in his boxers. He realized this as the wind blew by fiercly, but he was not cold.

Turning around he noticed that Hidan had followed him out."Why are you here?", he asked.

"Just go back to sleep Hidan. I need some time alone to think."

"I can't go back to sleep. Especially not after I've been sat on.", Hidan said crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Itachi looked down at the mangled body of the spy shinobi he was supposed to collect information from, then kill. In short he was looking at his mission, nothing more. The information the man had given away wasn't detrimental. It was just little bits and pieces of lies some of the Akatsuki had fed him. The real information was sealed away forever with this shinobi who now lay on the ground, very much dead.

Itachi had seen shinobi like this before. A serious case of stupidity and an overinflated ego. Perhaps the man thought a few measly Anbu would be enough to protect him. He had let a small imaginary victory go to his head. He hadn't made a back-up plan. He had made himself the only resource of information. Surely he should know that this would put a huge target on his back. The man had wanted all the credit. He hadn't shared the info with his fellow shinobi, and now all of them had paid the price.

The spy shinobi had a broken pelvis. A broken femur. A broken...everything. The sight truly wasn't for the faint of heart. Itachi decided to berid of the body. Afterall he had decency.

Making handsigns, Itachi used his fireball jutsu. He hadn't meant to use a lot of chakra. Just a little. But his jutsu came out full strength, reducing the man's body to nothing more than ashes which blew away with the sudden blow of the wind. The act was both voluntary and involuntary. The shinobi had made something in Itachi snap. His facade of indifference had shattered to a million pieces.

'Was it because he took the form of Kisame?', Itachi inwardly questioned. It couldn't be. This particular jutsu wasn't anything special. In fact it was taught at the genin level. Practically any and all shinobi could use it. Why had it made him lose control. 'Am I getting weak?', Itachi thought while gliding from tree to tree back to the Akatsuki hide-out.  
~~~

Hidan gave a seductive, alluring smile."I don't think you need to be thinking big boy."

Kisame rolled his eyes and gave what he had hoped to be a huff, but came out more as a predatory growl."Who are you to decide when I can and cannot think?"

Hidan simply gave that sexy half-smile of his."It's boring. And besides, I'm awake now. What am I going to do?"

"I don't know and I don't ca-

"I have an idea." Hidan let his only piece of clothing, his Akatsuki robe slip off his shoulders."Fuck me." It fell to the ground with a barely audible thud. Kisame hadn't heard it though. He was transfixed. The pale and deceptively slight frame was nothing short of sex incarnate.

Kisame's eyes slowly drank in the shinobi known as Hidan. Hair so pale blonde it resembled silver. Neck so beautifully supple. Shoulders visibly strong but not bulky. A perfect chest with two rosebud-like nipples. Strong thighs and...Kisame's eyes shifted to the man's crotch. His cock was certainly impressive. Sure, not as big as Kisame's, but impressive nonetheless. As Kisame's eyes briefly glanced over the form before him, he took a shuddered breath. This man, this shinobi, was like a tangible form of all Kisame's fantasies in one perfect package.

Hidan's lazy seductive grin only grew wider."Like anything you see?"

Kisame hadn't heard this question. He was too busy fighting a losing battle against his libido. The thought that Hidan was his fantasy deeply disturbed Kisame. His fantasies had usually consisted of no one other than Itachi. He was starting to feel bad. Was this going to be considered 'cheating'? But they weren't even in any type of formal relationship he argued with himself. He couldn't help the heat that spread to his lower regions simply by looking at Hidan.

Hidan was getting annoyed. His face was starting to hurt from holding his smile in place for so long. And it wasn't exactly eighty degree weather outside. The wind was blowing and he was naked. And cold. And horny. And irritated."So are 'ya gonna fuck me or just stand there like an idiot?"

"Yeah..." Kisame briefly thought back to Itachi. All things considered he was supposed to be back soon. Maybe he had heard wrong. Maybe Itachi had told him that the mission was going to be long. Whatever it was he couldn't seem to remember with Hidan standing here naked.

Hidan grabbed his robe and gave a suggestive flick of his finger."Are you coming. Or do you still want your thinking time?"

At this point Kisame's brain was no longer functioning. His libido however was working double-time."Sure", Kisame said nearly breathless.

They headed back to Kisame's room and Hidan pushed Kisame against the bed. They were on Itachi's neat and tidy side. The smell was intoxicating. Kisame reversed their roles; pushing Hidan down underneath him.

Itachi was close to the Akatsuki hide-out. At the rate he was going, he'd reach it in no more than five minutes.

He thought back to Kisame. Would he be waiting outside for him? Probably not. From the position of the sun Itachi could tell it was really late. Kisame would probably be sleeping when he got back.

'I feel so strange.', Itachi thought. A part of him wanted to see Kisame waiting for him, or at least awake when he got back.

Hidan had erotically removed Kisame's boxers and was now kissing him. His tongue slid in gently scraping against Kisame's canines. Kisame kissed him back passionately.

They broke apart briefly, both panting, bodies warming with the closeness. Kisame took this moment to grab a condom from the night stand. Hidan leaned in and drew Kisame into another hot, wet, kiss. As Hidan focused on kissing, Kisame broke the wrapper and slipped the condom on. Kisame broke the kiss to further explore Hidan's warm, sweat slicked body. Using his thumb and forefinger, he pinched a rosy nipple causing it to harden with the contact. Hidan closed his eyes and moaned slightly.

Kisame used this opportunity to grab the lube in the drawer of the dresser. Lubricating two fingers, he placed it at Hidan's tight entrance. He looked up as if silently asking permission.

Hidan gave a slight nod and Kisame slipped the two well lubricated fingers inside.

"Ahh.." Hidan moaned.

Kisame waited until Hidan adjusted to the intrusion before making a scissoring motion with his fingers, preparing Hidan. He gently slipped his fingers out and Hidan groaned at the loss.

Taking his hardened member into his hand Kisame positioned it at Hidan's entrance. With one hard fluid thrust he was inside. Both moaned out at the action. Kisame, from the pure bliss and feeling of the tightness around his member and Hidan from slight pain and discomfort. Kisame paused for a moment letting Hidan get use to the feeling.

"Move...", Hidan whispered, words barely audible.

Kisame pulled half-way out then thrust back in. He did this several times and then adjusted Hidan's legs, penatrating him from a different angle.

"Ohhh! Do that again!" Hidan said breathily.

Kisame continued pumping in and out from this angle. As Hidan's moans grew louder and Kisame's release grew closer he started going harder, faster.

Kisame reached down and stroked Hidan's forgotten erection in time with his thrusts. Hidan started pushing up and back against Kisames's frantic thrusts.

~~~  
Tobi was busy dodging vases and any other items Deidara got his hands on.

"Tobi didn't eat your strawberries sempai. Tobi is a good boy.", Tobi said, nearly missing getting hit by a fork. The fork was thrown with such force that it pierced and stuck into the wall where Tobi was recently standing.

"Dammit Tobi stay still!"

"Nooo! I didn't do it!", Tobi yelled, still dodging flying forks.

"Then who ate them?", Deidara asked throwing a spoon; he had run out of forks.

"The purple fairy", Tobi said with a wide grin, scampering off.

"Tobi! Get back here!"

Kakuzu had returned from his room some time ago in search of a missing bill. He spotted it on the table where he had been sitting. Bending down he picked it up. When he stood though a spoon seemingly coming out of no where hit him in the nose. The spoon had hit him so hard he had to pinch his nose to ensure it was still there. When he turned Tobi had run past him. He was bombarded with spoons and barely missed getting hit with a pot.

Running back to his room he closed the door and sighed.

"Tobi! Where do you think you're going?", Deidara yelled. Kakuzu turned back realizing he had forgotten to lock the door. Tobi flew into the room.

"Kaku-san, sempai is on his pms. Help me!"

"Tobi! What did you just say?", Deidara yelled.

Kakuzu sighed. "Here we go again..."

Then everyone stopped talking.

"Oh Kisame...! Hard...harder!", this was heard coming from the other side of the wall: Itachi and Kisame's room.

"They're doing the naughty", Tobi said breaking the silence.

"But that's Hidan's voice...", Deidara said, voice trailing off.

Kakuzu pressed his ear to the wall and heard the blantant sounds of love-making. The headboard of the bed repetitively hit the wall followed by a creak from the bed and noises from the two occupants of the room.

Tobi pressed his ear to the wall as well, an unseen blush warming his face. "Is Itachi in there too?"

"No idiot. He's out on a mission.", Deidara said still surprised.

"Uh-oh. Kisame's in big trouble. Itachi's gonna give him the ouchies when he finds out." Tobi said, recalling Deidara's earlier fit about his missing strawberries.

Deidara went over and grabbed Tobi's ear dragging him out of the room."Let's not get any ideas Tobi."

"Oww ow. What did Tobi do now, sempai?", could Be heard growing more distant.

~~~  
Itachi nodded at Konan who was keeping guard outside of the hide-out.

It was strangely quiet. He had expected for there to be more noise. Carefully walking through the hide-out, his senses were heightened.

He spotted Deidara who was quietly scolding Tobi and Tobi who was cornered with a helpless look.

When Deidara saw him his eyes widened and he and Tobi went into their room. Everyone was acting odd...Something was not right.

Itachi paused slightly before opening the door to his room. He was glad to be back. And though he didn't want to admit it aloud he...missed Kisame.

There was a weird noise coming from inside the room. Was someone else in there? Was Kisame in danger?

Quickly shoving the door open he came upon the the sight of Hidan sweating and panting,NAKED under Kisame who was naked as well. The shock was so much that it took Itachi a moment to register what was going on. Then it him him like a ton of bricks. Kisame was having sex with Hidan in his room, on his side of the bed...

"Hey Itachi...how's it goin?", Kisame asked. Right after he said it he regretted it. He mentally slapped himself adding,"I can explai-

"I'm sure you can." Itachi's features reverted from shock, to sadness, then almost instantly went back to apathetic.

He walked out leaving a speechless Kisame and guilt ridden Hidan...

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer~ I do not own, nor do I claim to own the characters depicted herein. I do however own the stories and plots in which I have created.

A/N: Reviews are appreciated more than you know. I appreciate favs, but I like hearing my readers opinion; that's what drives me to write~

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Chapter 2: It Can't be Real

Kisame was beyond words as he stared after Itachi like an idiot. He wanted to wake up. This was all a bad dream. A horrific nightmare. He would wake up any minute now and turn over only to the one and only object of his desire: Itachi.

Several minutes passed and nothing changed. The room was still quiet. The sheets felt stiff from the sweat that had collected on it. The room was hot and felt humid; indicative of his and Hidan's past rendevous. The supposed 'dream' wasn't ending fast enough.

Hidan shifted uncomfortably underneath Kisame. He was torn. On the one hand he was sorry. Sorry he had decided to ask Kisame to fulfill his sexual desires. He had been sexually frustrated. Kisame was there, the mood was right. It all just sorta...happened. But on the other hand he was disappointed. He hadn't cum yet when Itachi walked in. He wanted to ask if Kisame intended on finishing or pulling out any time soon. But that would be sort of weird to ask as well.

Glancing down at Hidan he realized the position they were in. Still in."Oh, sorry.", was all he said, pulling out.

Hidan breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad. Glad to not have to ask that embarassing question. Not like he was reserved or wasn't use to speaking his mind. He was anything but. It just didn't seem to fit the mood for him to point out such a thing.

Kisame rolled over to the other side of the bed, placing the crook of his arm over his eyes he groaned."Shit."

Once Hidan had found the ability to properly move his limbs he grabbed his Akatsuki robe, loosely tying it around his waist. He turned back. He had wanted to say something. Anything. But what could he say? Unable to think of anything Hidan walked out of the room silently closing the door behind him.

Kisame listened to the sound of the click shut. It was a small sound. But in the deafening silence it had seemed loud. A reminder of what he had done.

He hadn't expected Itachi to react that way at all. But what had he been expecting. He hadn't thought the whole ordeal through. It had definitely seemed like a good idea at the time. There weren't suppose to be any reprocussions. Besides he couldn't even put a name to whatever existed between him and Itachi. Close friends? But they had slept together. Lovers? But neither had ever admited to 'loving' one another. Friends with benfits? If that were true why did Itachi react the way he did when he saw him with Hidan?

Kisame drew in another breath, turning over and wishing this whole thing would just blow over. But he knew in the back of his mind that it wasn't that easy.

Itachi was confused. He felt unstable, like his walls had all come crashing down. His emotions were burning inside him like a forest fire. Emotions...it had been a very long time since he had associated anything in his life with _those_. Everything is or just was. Like some weird law of science. He never expected to feel betrayal. Just expected...what? Kisame to be there always like a loyal dog...shark at his ankles? He didn't why he felt this way and he didn't know why. More than the act itself the not-knowing scared him. He had to be in control, he felt. Things always went smoother that way.

But this. This was different. He had no control over the situation. No overall upstanding purpose. There was nothing to change or alter the fact that Kisame had done what he pleased."But why the need to be on _my_ sheets."

Itachi wanted to throw something. To break something. But apparently someone had already beat him to all the throw-able and breakable objects in sight. The spoon, which stuck out from its position in the wall, could testify to that.

Konan walked into the hideout, noticing how Itachi visibly flinched at her presence. She had never seen anyone this on edge before. Especially not the seemingly emotionless Uchiha. She wondered what was up. She had knowledge of the little spat between Tobi and Deidara. In fact she was a part of it. The other day she had a craving for strawberries. She asked Tobi if the ones in the fridge were his and he said 'you can have 'em purple fairy'. Later on she found out that those strawberries belonged to Deidara. And that's how that started. But that wasn't it. Itachi wouldn't waste his breath, much less his emotions on a silly little misunderstanding such as that.

Taking another step forward Konan reached her hand out gently touching Itachi's shoulder. His eyes shot up, a wild and rare crazed look in them. A look that could only be described as...feral.

Itachi turned away from Konan for a moment then turned back. Almost instantaneously the look had disappeared. So quickly Konan had to blink to make sure this was all real. As she opened her eyes she saw the normal look of apathy on Itachi's face. Itachi made a handsign then, leaving the hideout as soon as he had arrived.

Kisame may have had a tendency to make stupid choices, but he surely was no fool. He knew that it would be in his best..interest to steer clear of Itachi for a while.

Everything felt awkward back at the hideout. As if this incident had altered their way of life. Konan sat upright at the table, her hands neatly folded. Tobi sat wedged between Zetsu and Deidara. Sasori, who had just came back from a mission himself, was even concerned. This was rare considering he usually only cared about beauty. Eternal beauty, that is. Hidan stood in the entryway, arms folded across his chest, glaring at some invisible object.

"Fuck", Kisame said. He was in his room searching. Aimlessly going through drawers, looking under the bed for all his stuff. On the bed a large bag was placed, filled with clothes and his various belongings.

He'd never really been kicked out before. What were the standard proceedures? Did you just take your stuff, leave and never show your face again? Did you leave a goodbye, I'm sorry note? And how did you know what to take. There were some items that were equally shared since before Kisame could remember. They really hadn't a specific owner. It was just known that they were shared. And then what about gifts?

Thinking it better to leave everything Kisame only packed clothing.'This is going to be harder than I thought', Kisame thought, staring at an old photo of Itachi. It was a rare one, the only of its kind. Itachi was smiling, and Kisame was the one taking the photo. His thumb visible on the edge of the picture. He remembered that day so clearly that it felt like it had only happened a day ago. He remembered the beach. The fresh ocean sea breeze. Most of all how content the usually apathetic Uchiha was.

That day Itachi had smiled. Truly smiled. And Kisame had captured the moment in a shakey imperfect, yet perfect picture.

"I can't leave this", Kisame said aloud. If he did he knew he would regret it. Itachi had been opposed to him keeping the picture from the start. He had went on about weakness and things like that. But Kisame had hardly listened. He wouldn't let himself be persuaded. He wanted to keep this precious moment. For once he understood what Sasori meant whenever he went on about the significance of eternal beauty.

Grabbing the photo he made up his mind. He would take the photo. Safely tucking it into his pocket, Kisame made a handsign, disappearing from the room in a cloud of smoke.

Itachi didn't know where he was headed, or how long he had been traveling. Looking straight ahead he realized that he had covered quite the amount of ground.

Feeling the ground shift under his feet he looked down. This was dangerous. For him to be this distracted was certainly not something that had ever happened before. He had many enemies. But that was to be expected with him being a part of the Akatsuki. Looking down he noticed the reason for the shift. Sand. He was on a beach.

Somehow this particular place felt nastalgic. Like he knew this place. Like he had been to this place before.

"Kisame...", Itachi muttered, recalling the day the two had shared.

The day had been one of those oddly perfect days. When everything seems to mystically go right. Leader-sama had given the whole Akatsuki, save for Deidara and Sasori, the day off. Konan had spent the day with Pein, organizing the male-filled hideout. Kakuzu had decided to let loose and go gambling. Staying true to his nature, he only gambled 30 Ryo. Tobi and Zetsu had gone to the mountains to train. Hidan had been...well Hidan, choosing to stay in his room and impale himself through the chest with a modified kunai.

This left him and Kisame. Kisame had suggested the beach. He said he wanted to go swimming. He promised that Itachi would have 'fun' as well. Itachi originally planned to perfect a new jutsu he had been working on. Not wanting to argue though he decided to go along with the plan.

And Kisame was right. The water was cool and refreshing. The sun was blindingly brillant dulled only by the cool sea breeze. He remembered feeling safe, letting his guard down. If anyone dared attack them they would be fools at best. With all the surrounding water Kisame obviously had the advantage.

"Itachi! I found a shell!", Itachi looked up. No one was there but the memory was so real it felt as if Kisame was standing right there again, grinning and triumphantly holding his prize. A broken pink tinted half-shell. Instinctively, Itachi reached into his pocket pulling out a necklace. With a shell tied onto it...

"It's time to head back." Itachi whispered.

Konan nervously paced back and forth.

"You know, burning a hole in the carpet won't help anything.", Kakuzu said just nervously. But he was more nervous about the damage to the carpet. It would cost an arm and a leg to replace it.

"I agree hm. Pacing won't help anything hm.", Deidara said, nodding slightly.

Tobi cuddled up on Zetsu."Zet-chan we have to help."

Light Zetsu smiled."Maybe Konan has a plan."

Dark Zetsu chuckled."We don't care as long as we get laid."

"That's it-

Konan hadn't had a chance to finish because she was interrupted."Have Itachi get laid?", Sasori asked confusedly.

"Nooo. We can set up a romantic date. Remind Itachi of why he fell in love in the first place."

"One problem with that", Kakuzu interrupted,"I've never actually seen them...'ya know."

"Kakuzu! That's disgusting. Get your head outta the gutter."

"Actually I meant I've never seen them say 'I love you' so...", Kakuzu grinned,"now who's head is in the gutter?"

Konan flushed, not able to repress the images appearing in her mind. Itachi with a flushed face, red from-

"Agh!", Konan wailed shaking the unpleasant, but appealing images from her mind."Not cool! Let's be serious here."

"As far as I can tell we _were_ being serious." Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"Okay...as I was saying-

"Yeah, yeah hm. We get them to fall in love but how, hm?", Deidara rolled his eyes while talking. In his mind this plan was full of holes. There was absolutely no way it would work, but he feared voicing his opinion lest he have to owe an even greater debt to Kakuzu by having his limbs reattached after Konan was done with him.

Tobi smiled pulling Zetsu until he was practically craddling the plant man."Everyone needs love!"

"Oh please, get a room.", Hidan said sarcastically. Silence broke out as Hidan spoke his first words sinde the incident.

"Oh. You mean like Itachi's room, huh?" Kakuzu said with a chuckle . Sasori joined in, giving a cocky smirk and flicking a red strand of hair out of his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up Kakuzu."

"Why should I? I mean you were pretty vocal with Kisame so-

"Okay...so what plans do everyone have on getting Itachi back together with Kisame. Anyone?" Konan interrupted the start of a heated argument. She didn't want to be in the presence of their fight. Knowing them heads would roll. Literally.

"How about...how about we all come up with a plan on our own hm?", Deidara asked, seemingly sounding like the voice of reason.

"That's a great idea!" Konan said, jumping up from the table she had been leaning on.

"May the best man win." Sasori smiled."Eternal beauty will always prevail."

Deidara grit his teeth."Eternal beauty? What a laugh hm. True beauty is fleeting. True art is an explosion! Hm."

Deidara and Sasori started to intensely glare at one another. Konan sighed. Here they went again. They just couldn't agree to disagree. Both felt as if they were more right than the other. It was starting to get ridiculous how many times they had had this exact argument.

"Well meeting adjourned.", Konan said with a sense of finality.

At this statement, everyone seemed to split up and go their own ways. Hidan walked off towards the garden near the rear of the hideout. Kakuzu said something about 'grocery expenses', and walked off. Sasori and Deidara were arguing over what form beauty truly took as they walked down the hallway to their room. Tobi and Zetsu were giving each other...bed eyes? Tobi gently pulled on Zetsu's Venus flytrap-like structure, guiding them into their room.

"So why wasn't I included in this...meeting?"

Konan looked up to see Itachi. Unlike last time she had seen him, he had his emotions under control. Not a trace of what she had sworn was hurt, was present on Itachi's profile. His face was cold and apathetic. But seemed much colder than usual, which was to be expected considering the circumstances.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough", Itachi said simply."And you can forget about 'helping' Kisame and I. Because there's nothing to help. We were never together."

Konan saw something flicker in Itachi's eyes as he said the last part."Of course!", she said putting her hands up in defeat. This was an act, of course. She had no intention of giving up so easily.

Walking into his bedroom Itachi expected to see an apologetic Kisame. But there wasn't one. In fact, most remnants of his existance in this room were wiped clean.

Itachi could tell he left in a hurry. The bed remained how had found it: wrinkled and sticky with questionable fluids on one part. Clothes were strewn on the floor, across the dresser. Some clothes hung loosely halfway out of the closet and Kisames weapons along with his Samehada, which usually slumped against the wall, was missing. Practically everything of Kisames was gone.

Itachi looked over to the dresser on Kisame's side. He was more than half expecting to see Kisame's prized possession, a picture of him, thrashed. But it wasn't. From the slight drag marks created near the picture frames dust, Itachi could tell that it had been carefully picked up. Kisame had kept the photo of him.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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A/N: Please review! Reviews are deeply appreciated and I love feedback. Favs are okay, but I would much rather prefer a review :D


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer~ I do not own, nor do I claim to own the characters depicted herein; they are owned by their respective artist. I do however own the stories and plots in which I have created.

Warning: This chapter contains smut! If you are opposed to smut, Tobi/Zetsu, Kisaita, or only like fluff, turn back now!

A/N: A dear reviewer sent in a thoughtful and much appreciated review. Because of her, (YukiNoSamurai) you are brought this smut. This chapter will build more on the Kisaita aspect of the story. May this chapter bring you glorious fangirl/fanboy nosebleeds.

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Chapter 3: Memories Long Past

Kisame walked through the entrance to the hideout. He had been gone for a full week. But despite his rationale that staying away from the hideout would be best he couldn't. Pein would not accept such insubordinates. He was lucky to have been granted the time away that he recieved. Luckily for him, Konan pulled a few strings with Pein.

Walking into the hideout he came upon two people. Konan. And Itachi. Konan was okay. But of all people why did Itachi have to be here? In fact, Konan even said herself that it wouldn't be likely that Itachi would be back at the hideout for a while.

Kisame inwardly cursed his Samehada for being so big, while he desperately tried in vain to tip-toe past the two. Both turned around almost simultaneously. Though Itachi was about a split second faster. He was a prodigy afterall. Itachi glared at Kisame for a moment. But just a moment, and then he regained control of his emotions. The glare was replaced with an indifferent look. His normal façade. Konan simply looked as if nothing were wrong. Like this whole meeting was expected. Planned.

"So...uh-", Kisame stopped talking as he looked into Itachi's eyes. The mangekyo sharingan flickered; Itachi's eyes turning from an echoing darkness, to crimson, then back. He had never seen Itachi like this. He was genuinely pissed.

Konan went and stood between the two. The tension in the air hung so thick it would take a butcher knife to cut through it."So...uh, welcome back Kisame."

"Yes, welcome back...", Itachi said. His eyes were no longer flickering red. They were red. And that welcome seemed much more like a threat than a greeting.

Konan quickly ducked as Itachi threw a kunai at Kisame. Reacting quickly, Kisame dodged, blocking with Samehada. Itachi circled around making handsigns for his fireball jutsu.

Kisame tackled Itachi, pinning his arms above his head."What the fuck, Itachi?", Kisame yelled."Are you trying to kill us all?"

Itachi didn't say anything as he looked up, staring past Kisame. Five minutes passed and Itachi still didn't say anything. He wasn't even struggling. The only signs of life were the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and the soft soothing heartbeat that followed. Right now Kisame couldn't think of anything he wanted more than to lay his head on Itachi's chest and listen. So he did.

Itachi's gaze focused on Kisame. His body tensed, wanting more. His body remembered Kisame. Knew him. Kisame was his other half. Itachi's body missed him, even if his mind was much more stubborn. To press together, to become one. That was its one true wish. Kisame's was recognized as its lover. And no matter how Itachi tried, he couldn't shake the odd feelings Kisame's presence gave him.

"Get off", Itachi finally said. His voice seemed to resound throughout the room as he broke the silence. He looked up into the eyes of Kisame, holding his gaze.

Kisame merely nodded, and got up. After brushing himself off, he grabbed his Samehada, in which he had dropped, and his bag of clothing and took off down the hallway, avoiding any further eye contact with Itachi.

Itachi sat up, gaze still directed at his feet. He was alone. Sometime between Kisame and his silent argument, Konan had left. With the addition of Kisame leaving, he was the only one occupying the living room of the Akatsuki base. Standing up, Itachi went into his room.

Kisame was in the extra room next to the one Tobi and the plant ninja, Zetsu, shared. After dropping his bags, he plopped down on the bed. He could tell he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight either. He was so use to lying next to Itachi, the androgonous scent of the man, that he just couldn't sleep. No matter what he tried, it didn't work. Something was always missing. Or someone.

Tobi smiled kissing Dark Zetsu's hand."Tobi thinks you look extra sexy today Su-chan.

"Hmph. Yeah, right." Light Zetsu said rolling his eye, which looked odd because the other eye was intensely staring at Tobi.

Despite how dark Su-chan's ebony skin was, a blush still managed to show on his cheek.

Light Zetsu was still frowning."No fair! How come he gets to go first?"

"Because you went first last time, idiot."

"Zet-chan...Tobi loves you too.", Tobi grinned still fondling Dark Zetsu's Venus flytrap half. Tobi chose to refer to Light Zetsu as Zet-chan and Dark Zetsu as Su-chan. Neither liked being referred to as the same person. So this nickname solved both of their problems. And it was a little kinky too.

Tobi leaned over and kissed Light Zetsu."Now that's more like it", Zet-chan said with a smirk.

Zetsu made a few handsigns and his body began to alter. The pure white skin began to turn ebony like ink soaking into paper.

Neither of Zetsu's halfs had ever used it in battle. The jutsu itself served no true purpose. All it did was give one half complete control of the body. It couldn't be used to gain a tactical advantage. But it did aide in other things. Zetsu had created just for the purpose of each getting personal time with Tobi.

Tobi rubbed the area of Su-chan's plant-like structure in a circular motion. This coaxed them to slowly open, revealing a silky nude body. The Venus flytrap leaves retreated, making Zetsu's body, besides the fact that he was unnaturally dark, look almost human.

"I love you..." The words were simple, spoken with a deep gravelly voice. Anyone could have said them. But from Su-chan, it was enticing. Like offering someone a million dollars.

Tobi nodded."I love you too.", Tobi said, for once not referring himself in the third person.

That was it. No more words needed to be spoken. Tobi grabbed Zetsu's legs, placing them over his shoulders. He applied pressure, pushing inside the warmth of Zetsu.

"Aahh...!", Zetsu breathed heavily. Moaning at the slight pain and pleasure this action caused.

Tobi waited. Contrary to what everyone thought, Su-chan liked slow love-making. More romantic.

Tobi gently kissed Zetsu's shoulder, while shifting position slightly. The shift caused Tobi to hit Zetsu's sweet spot, dead on.

"Ahh!" Zetsu moaned.

Tobi repetitively pushed in and out. Zetsu pushed back, meeting him. Their moans intermingled, warm and sensual proof of their love-making.

Zetsu moaned one final time as he came, hot sticky liquid spilling onto his stomach. Tobi's breath became more ragged as he worked towards his own release.

Tobi came, spilling his seed into the warm body beneath him. Both were quiet, the only sound short and quick breaths as each came down from their post orgasmic high.

"Argghh!", Kisame growled in frustration, banging his head repeatedly into the pillow. The noises coming from the bedroom on the other side of the wall were too loud to tune out.

Kisame put his fingers in his ears."Lalala." But he could still hear-

"Ahh!", he heard dark Zetsu moan.

All of the erotic noises were starting to make Kisame horny.

"Ah..oh!"

"No, no, nooo!" Kisame said rolling around on the bed, covering his ears with his hands."Lalalala la." But he could still hear."What the fuck. They're going at it like bunnies in there."

Then there was silence. Kisame sighed. Finally, he could attempt to get some sleep.

And then the noises resumed. This time though, it was Light Zetsu. Light Zetsu's voice could be heard so loudly he was practically hitting a soprano note. Kisame took his pillow, and used it to cover his ears. Still no good."Ughh..."

Itachi could hear the faint sounds of love-making echo from down the hall. That didn't really bother him though. What bothered him was the fact that he hadn't slept in days. Without Kisame's snoring and clingyness at night, he wasn't able to sleep. At first he had counted it as blessing. To finally be able to sleep without Kisames annoyingly loud snores. But he was so use to it that his body no longer recognized it as bedtime without the sound of Kisame snoring. And the warmth. It couldn't be replaced by an extra warm blanket either.

But Itachi was still only human. Even he had limits, and he had pushed them. No sleep mixed with a myriad of missions, and hardly eating anything was too much. As Itachi's lids shut he promised himself that he was merely resting his eyes.

"Itachi. Itachi, wake up." It was Kisame.

"Itachi opened his eyes and it revealed Kisame. Kisame was clad in a white T-shirt and boxers with sharks on them.

'How childish', Itachi caught himself thinking. And then he looked up seeing himself. It was like a movie, only he was right there. No, not a movie. A memory. He could watch, but no matter how much he wished he could change things, impact them, he couldn't. He could only watch...

"Itachi? Uh...what are your thoughts on marriage?" Kisame asked nervously.

"What a ridiculous notion.", Itachi's past self said.

"What a ridiculous-" Itachi caught himself noticing that he was about to repeat the exact same words as his past self. Then his eyes caught a small box behind Kisame's back. It was half open revealing a large diamond studded wedding ring. That time...Kisame had intended to ask Itachi's hand in marriage? This was a memory so that must mean-

"Yeah, you're right! Marriage, what was I thinking? Neither of us can marry." Kisame gave a nervous shrug.

Itachi's eyes followed the situation. Kisame nonchalantly tossed the ring in the top drawer. Apparently his past self didn't notice. He was too busy staring at an imaginary object on the wall, lost in thought. Then Itachi's past self looked up just as Kisame circled his arms around his waist.

"Kisame, you're acting rather...odd", Itachi's past self said.

"H..How would you react if I told you I...loved you?"

"Kisame...", Itachi past self glared at him in warning.

"Just kidding!", Kisame said, giving an awkward smile and putting up both hands in a show of surrender.

"Liar." Itachi whispered, catching the brief look of disppointment on Kisame's face. The past Itachi didn't seem to notice, and if he did, it didn't seem to concern him.

Kisame then kissed Itachi's neck. That didn't get much of a responce, Itachi noted, as he observed himself. Kisame kissed Itachi's ring finger. That day he must have been totally out of it. The signs and hints Kisame was dropping were really obvious.

"Stop it..." Itachi said pulling away.

"I wanna do it.", Kisame said. His facial expression was serious.

Kisame pulled at Itachi's unbuttoned Akatsuki cloak. It fell to the floor with a barely audible sound. Itachi was wearing a basic shinobi outfit under it. Gently grabbing Itachi's wrists, Kisame slipped the fishnet arm protectors off. He reached out to pull Itachi's shirt over his head.

"No, let me.", Itachi's past self said, pulling his own shirt off.

After both were fully nude, Kisame and Itachi walked over to the bed. Kisame slowly laid Itachi on the bed. Itachi couldn't look anymore. His past self simply lie on the bed, motionless. Not responding to Kisame's touches, caresses.

Tears began to slide down Itachi's cheeks as he watched Kisame cry, while having sex with his former self. This wasn't right. 'That Itachi doesn't exist. He doesn't belong there with Kisame.

"I do." Itachi whispered aloud as he watched his past self lie motionless on the bed, staring at the ceiling."

"Wakey, Wakey!", Tobi's voice was heard, bouncing down the halls.

Konan chose a more respectful way to wake everyone up. She knocked on each door. She had learned the hard way not to barge in. Especially after that time she walked in on Hidan, in mid-ritual. It wasn't a sight she often enjoyed recalling, yet it was burned into her memory nonetheless.

As she walked down the hallway, she saw Kisame grumbling something at Tobi, obviously frustrated. He had bags under his eyes from not getting any sleep, and his movements were a bit sluggish.

"Damn, Tobi's got endurance...", Kisame said dragging his feet.

"Wakey! Wakey!"

Itachi shot up, leaning forward so fast the blood didn't have time to reach his head, making him dizzy. His body was drenched in a cold sweat. His fingers visibly shaking. Itachi's heart was pounding so fast that he thought it just might beat right out of his chest. He kept recalling that dream, no, memory. If he didn't know any better he would have thought he used his own mangekyo sharingan on himself; that's how torturous the memory was.

Getting up Itachi reached into the drawer that he saw in the memory. There in the top drawer lie a dusty ring case, and inside, the ring itself.

Kisame walked to the kitchen, pouring his orange juice with a sigh. When he had thought Tobi and Zetsu were done last night, he was very wrong. Dark and Light Zetsu's voices were heard alternately. And Kisame could not, for life of him, drown out the sound of their collective noises.

Kisame dragged at his feet back through the hallway. He hoped he would have at least an hour or so of sleep until he was forced to go on a mission concerning any of the tailed beasts, the jinchuuriki.

Just as Kisame looked up Itachi stumbled out of his room, looking every bit as worse as Kisame felt. Right now he was uncoordinated, and tripped.

Without even thinking about it, Kisame dropped his glass to the floor, and dived low to catch Itachi. Kisame protectively held the man, literally scared to death. Itachi's breathing was irregular. Rapid. His body was sweaty, and he had a fever. And the man was shaking.

The glass hit the floor with a loud thump, its contents spilling onto the floor. But that didn't concern Kisame. He was worried about the man in his arms. Itachi.

Reaching his arms under Itachi's knees, Kisame carried him bridal style to his bedroom. Gently lying him down, Kisame ran to the bathroom, grabbing a wash cloth and filling a bucket with cold water. Running back Kisame began to work on undressing Itachi and gently dabbing him with the cool cloth.

Itachi's breathing settled and he looked up, his eyes no longer glazed."Kisame...you fool.", was all he whispered.

"Hey...you know I would never abandon you, Itachi..."

"Are you no longer mad at me?"

Kisame gave Itachi an incredulous look."Uh..why would I be mad at you. Aren't you mad at me...?"

Itachi smirked."Yes.", was all that he said.

If it were anyone else, Kisame would have been frustrated beyond belief. But for Itachi to reveal how he was feeling, to reveal that Kisame invoked weakness in him was definately progress. Kisame would rather have Itachi be mad than feel nothing at all. But all this was understood without words.

Kisame made a movement to get up. To give Itachi his space. But Itachi reached, out grabbing his arm.

"Stay." It wasn't said innocently or romantically. Rather it was a command. When Kisame failed to answer the arm squeezed his hand even tighter.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Kisame said with his trademark lopsided grin.

The two relaxed almost instantaneously falling a sleep. They were near each other, but it was far from sexual. They were just comfortable in each others' presence.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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A/N: I had planned on putting much more smut in, but it wouldn't completely work with the way I want this story to be. Also I'm trying to keep the characters as IC (in character) as possible. Review if you liked it, or press the back button and don't flame if you didn't like it.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer~ I neither own, nor do I claim to own the characters depicted herin; they belong to their respective artist. I do however own the stories and plots in which I have created.

A/N:: I have been quite busy lately with classes and high school life in general. But just last night a friend of mine came over and we watched Naruto. All throughout, I found myself commenting on how perfect a couple Kisame and Itachi are. And so, after procrastinating a paper, here it is.

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Chapter 4: A Plan is a Plan but Tobi's Plan is...?

Itachi awoke, feeling better than he had all week. His shoulders were no longer tense and the air didn't seem suffocating. Well, almost. Kisame slept peacefully, snoring quite loudly and crushing Itachi with his familiar body weight.

Itachi turned his head to look at Kisame, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. And then almost as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. But not for the usual reason. No. This had nothing to do with weakness due to emotional attachment. This had to do with the line of drool creeping its way out of Kisame's open mouth, and making a direct path for Itachi's neck.

Leaning up Itachi shoved Kisame backwards as hard as he could muster.

Kisame's head hit the wall and he groaned."Ugh...Itachi, are you bipolar or something?", he asked, rubbing the back of his now sore head. His face felt wet, and he swiped it with the back of his hand, feeling slightly embarassed.

Itachi said nothing, just merely walked into the bathroom with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.

"He must still be mad", Kisame muttered with a shake of his head. Getting up Kisame headed to the kitchen. Opening up the fridge he searched for the orange juice. After locating it he sighed, grabbing a paper cup. After Deidara's tantrum over his missing strawberries, the Akatsuki base no longer contained any usable food utensils or cups, or plates, or bowls...

Kisame slid the orange juice back into its respective drawer within the fridge. When he looked up however, he came face to face with Hidan.

"H-hey.", Hidan stuttered, uncharacteristically nervous. His hands were clenching and unclenching into fists as his nails scraped the palm of his hand.

"Oh, hey. 'Wuzzup Hidan." Hidan frowned at the relaxed expression and tone of Kisame's voice.

"What the fuck...I try to be civil and this is what I get. I didn't know it was all water under the bridge already."

"Hidan, calm down. If we just-

"If we, what?", Hidan yelled, enraged. He couldn't explain how, or why, but he was pissed off. Especially after he saw the way Kisame embraced Itachi. The way he looked at him. His facial expression...it was one of love and sincerity.

Hidan's head had been so clouded with thoughts of last night that he hadn't been focusing on his own movements, and teetered slightly.

Kisame reached forward, catching Hidan before he hit the kitchen floor. This felt familiar. Catching a damsel in distress. Only both Hidan and Itachi would beat him up for even referring to them as 'damsels'.

Feeling Hidan shutter, Kisame soothingly ran his hand up and down Hidan's back. Almost instantly, he felt Hidan relax. Kisame was a bit confused. He loved Hidan. But in a different way. A more close sort of friends kind of way. But contary to his original thoughts he DID care about Hidan's happiness.

Itachi quickly dressed and left his bedroom. He walked past the kitchen, only seeing Hidan in someone's lap. He had only quickly glanced, and couldn't tell who it was that was with him. It didn't really concern him though. He figured that it was probably just Kakazu.

As Itachi made his way down the hall to Leader-sama's room, he shook his head, seeing Kakazu. He shrugged the whole ordeal off as not getting enough sleep, or too much stress.

As he walked to the entrance he saw Konan inside, excitedly explaining something to Pein.

"And so, isn't it obvious why you just have to say yes?", Konan gave Pein a double smile. At first glance it was friendly, excited. But a closer look revealed that it was a quiet threat. She had something against him that he had no intention of giving up.

Pein sighed, bringing his palm to his forehead."You do fully comprehend what you are asking of me, right?"

Konan simply nodded.

"Okay then. So long as it does not interfere with our progress."

Konan gave a small smile, mind already brimming with 'insinkable' ideas. With that she turned around and walked out the door, not even noticing Itachi.

Itachi walked into Leader-sama's office, expecting to recieve his orders. When Pein said nothing, he made a noise,"Hn."

Pein looked up."Yes, Itachi?"

"I've come for my mission."

Pein shook his head,"What mission? There's going to be a slight...vacation.", Pein said, trying to recall the excuse Konan had told him to give.

"So I see.", With that Itachi walked out the door and down the hallway, stopping when he heard Konan's authorative voice.

"Okay, okay guys my 'Ultimate Unfailable' plan will begin now. Well play tic-tac-toe." She grinned slightly, as if this were the perfect solution.

Itachi was confused. Something about a plan and tic-tac-toe. This was all...complete idiocy. Shaking his head he walked by the staring group and out into the garden.

Konan paused, eyes following Itachi as he made his way outside. When he was finally out of sight, she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding."Okay so we draw sticks to see who goes against who."

Holding the stick in front of the group she watched as everyone grabbed one and looked at them. She smirked, realizing that she had the longest.

"Aww", Tobi pouted."No fair, Tobi got the small one."

Kakuzu pointed to his stick as well."Yeah, me too."

"Okay then. You two do tic-tac-toe to see who'll be first and-

"Be first of what?", Kakuzu interrupted."What the hell is this all for anyways?"

Konan gave a look that could freeze over the Sahara.

"Uh, nevermind..."

Konan took out the board and markers and handed them one to Tobi and one to Kakuzu.

"I'll be the circle", Kakuzu declared.

"And Tobi'll be square!

"Umm, Tobi...I don't think that there are squares in tic-tac-toe.", Konan offered.

"Shhh! No cheating, you can't help him.", Kakuzu said, already feeling competitive.

"It's not cheating. I'm just...", Konan shook her head,"forget it."

The game started and Tobi drew his 'square' on the board in the middle. Kakuzu drew his circle in the far right corner. This continued until the board was full.

"Toe-tic-tac, three in a row, Tobi wins!"

Kakuzu shook his head."Tobi, it's called tic-tac-toe, and look, I clearly won." Kakuzu pointed to the four different ways he had won.

It turned out that Tobi's definitive squares looked like circles. In fact, the whole board was covered with circles and one square in the middle.

"Uh, Tobi...I think you lost, un." Deidara said, staring the board intensely.

"Tobi, you drew one square...and the rest circles", Sasori added.

"Oh. Oops.", Tobi said, scratching the back of his head.

Kakuzu smiled, pleased with his victory and Konan sighed. If Tobi was anywhere near as bad at relationships as he was as bad at playing tic-tac-toe, then it would definitely do far more harm than good.

"Tobi, how about you sit this one out?", Konan said nodding, as if agreeing with herself.

"What out?", Zetsu asked.

"Huh? Oh. Well we each come up with a plan to help Kisame and Itachi get back together."

"Tobi wants'ta help!", Tobi yelled, excitedly forming his plan.

Sasori shook his head in disagreement."I hardly think we should mettle in others' affairs."

Deidara shook his head."Besides, un, it doesn't even concern us."

Konan smiled, rising from her seat at on the crowded couch."I'm glad you feel that way. And to think I convinced Pein-sama to give us all a week off. Well there's always that nine-tailed jinchuuriki to catch." She smirked as Deidara went pale and Sasori went stiff.

"On second thought un, I'd love to help."

Sasori had a bit more stubborn pride."Yeah..."

Tobi rose from the group with a wide smile."Tobi's idea is here!"

Zetsu looked up with an unsure smile on one half, and a feature-less stare on the other.

Without another word, Tobi took off in the direction towards his and the plant nin's bedroom. At this, the small asembley of people scattered, each parting ways for a different reason. Hidan hadn't shown up to the meeting, which in no way surprised Konan. Deidara went to go perfect a new jutsu using his clay bombs, and Sasori was working on a new body armor that he had collected just last week. Kakuzu had headed out for the monthly groceries, and Zetsu went out to the garden. As far as everyone knew, Pein was holed up in his room.

Hidan sat in his room, gripping a small razor. He watched intently as blood, his blood, dripped from between clenched fists. Usually this would excite him. The sight of blood, the sting of pain, it was his verson of complete euphoria. But oddly it didn't do anything. He just simply wasn't himself. He hadn't killed, tortured, or insulted anyone in days, weeks. Sure, there was the common snide remarks, but nothing his style.

Hidan looked up as he noticed the door knob turn, and subsequently open. He looked away, it was probably just Kakuzu.

Then he was tackled, pinned to the bed he had been sitting on. It was Kisame.

"What the fuck", Hidan yelled, despite himself.

Kisame smiled,"Then fight me."

"Wha...?", for once Hidan found himself lost for words.

"I said, 'fight me'. I haven't sparred in weeks, a little training would do me some good and I think you as well."

Hidan grinned, a blood-thirsty smile. A battle like this seemed to spark something in him. Competition? Rage? He couldn't put words to why fresh adrenaline was pumping through his veins. All he knew was he definately liked it.

Walking to a rocky area outside of the garden both took on battle stances...

Itachi watched, hidden on one of the trees in the immense garden, as both mens sparred, spouting curses.

"Try and dodge this!", Kisame performed his shark jutsu, numerous sharks made of water coming at Hidan.

"You'll have to do better than that", Hidan said with a chuckle.

Kisame rounded the corner and made a move to jump. But he slipped on a wet rock, landing face first in now muddy soil.

Hidan dropped his scythe, busting out in laughter. After an embarassing moment of shame, that his undoing had been a rock, Kisame got up and swiped at his face with the back of the sleeve of his Akatsuki robe. While Hidan was still laughing Kisame snuck up to him.

"Now meet YOUR doom", Kisame shouted, throwing a ball of mud at Hidan.

The was a moment of silence as Hidan stared blankly at Kisame. Then he chuckled and threw a mis-shaped ball of mud at Kisame.

Itachi found himself smiling as he watched the two acting so childish. They were both grinning, covered in mud. The right half of the garden, reserved for training was an absolute mess."So childish", Itachi whispered before making a handsign and disappearing.

Tobi sighed in defeat. He knew, more than anything, that he wanted to help. The thought of losing Zetsu stung his mind, causing a brief slip in his sanity. If he lost Zetsu, He would take over. His old self. Madara. He reasoned that that was likely to be the state Kisame was in.

Tobi involuntarily shivered at the thought of being Madara. Madara wasn't him. Sure- technically he was, but he didn't want it to be. Didn't want to slip into the realm of insanity where only death and pain could cause the Uchiha pleasure. Most of all he didn't want to lose sight of what was important. He didn't favor his old self- tried to bury it deep.

It was all up to him and as he exited the room, a small smile pulled the corners of his lips up.

Itachi sat in the living room alone. It's was not as if Kisame had been avoiding him, but that he had been avoiding Kisame. He wasn't really mad. Sure, when he recalled that day his blood boiled like lava for some reason, but no, he wasn't mad. He was, he dared not say it aloud, embarrassed and jealous. Embarrassed because he had let his emotions get the better of him and...jealous because Kisame had never smiled at him like that. Had never looked as joyous as he did with Hidan. Itachi ducked, seeing Kisame exit the shower. Itachi's face was red, and the last thing he wanted were more complications.

Kisame shook his head, reminding Itachi of a wet dog. Itachi watched as Kisame stretched and let out a loud yawn, pulling his arms behind his head. Subsequently, the towel inched its way down his torso. Past his taut stomach... Down his waist...

Itachi had to look away to keep from gawking any further. It had been a while since they...well, did 'it'.

Kisame turned around, noticing Itachi, and flashed his well-known half-grin."Hey, 'Tachi."

Itachi furrowed his brows at the pet name."Kisame...If you wish to address me, address me properly." Itachi was about to go into a lecture when he sighed. He had no intention of wasting his time, and Konan who was 'hiding' behind the corner wore a wide smile.

Konan slinked in, handing a flyer, one to Itachi, and one to Kisame, before bolting down the hall. The two flyers had the same words written on them, but the one Kisame held looked like the combination of a first grader and unsharpened crayons. In short, a complete disaster.

Kisame looked down at his."What the-", he paused, taking in the papers contents. The paper itself wasn't fancy at all. In fact, it was a sheet of notebook paper, carelessly torn out. The words were about an inch and a half apart, and the blue crayon used to write the letter was slightly smudged where the paper folded. It read,' Dear Kizameh, romantical dinner party for too invahtayshun.' Kisame was silent for a moment.

Itachi let out a laugh. Kisame's invitation must have been a joke, he even felt a little bad for him. At least whoever made his was literate.

Kisame gave a loud whoop, startling Itachi from his thoughts."This person is pure genius!", Kisame shouted, waving his note like an honored flag.

'Oh, brother', Itachi thought."You can't be serious...?"

Sensing Itachi's mild confusion, Kisame shook his head with a bit more vigor than necessary."Nah, 'course not 'Tachi. I was just...uh", Kisame paused, scratching his head while racking his brain for the right word." Um, fibbing, yeah..."

Itachi raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Whenever Kisame expanded his vocabulary things always tended to go awry. It was like some astronamical balance had been thrown off. To put it simply, Kisame was a bit of a romantic but his inability with words was most always his undoing.

Itachi sighed."So, what's this...event you have planned?"

"Eh? Oh, it's a surprise!" 'For us both', he mentally added.

Kisame led the way, secretly looking at the meeting spot map on his paper when Itachi's eyes wandered to take in the surroundings. They were outside. In the garden...there was a candle-lit path. Itachi surprised himself as much as Kisame when he let out a breathless sigh. The fresh air was perfect; everything was so-

"Zet-chan, Su-chan, I promise! Your flowers won't catch on fire because these are the ones that come in their own cups."

Kisame tugged on Itachi's wrist to draw his attention away from Tobi and Zetsu. He'd noticed lately that the Uchiha had been carefully observing the two lately, but had no clue as to why.

Itachi glanced back one final time, allowing himself to be pulled in the direction Kisame was going. He noticed how close the two were standing and how they seemed so relaxed around each other.

"Well, here we are.", Kisame proclaimed, drawing Itachi from his thoughts. Kisame reached a hand out, offering to take Itachi's Akatsuki robe.

Itachi obliged, handing Kisame the article of clothing and taking a seat at the only table visible. Kisame stared at the robes in his hand. Sure, the sentiment had been nice, but...he had no idea where to stick them. When he thought Itachi wasn't looking he threw the robes underneath the table.

Itachi smiled, seeing the whole thing. There was silence but Itachi didn't feel uncomfortable.

"So", Kisame started, nervously breaking the ice,"it's been awhile, just you and me..." Itachi's gaze was on him and it was intense. He felt like HE was the ice...that was melting under Itachi's gaze.

"Yes, it has." It was simple, a few mere meaningless words to others, but oxygen itself to Kisame. For Itachi to recognize it'd been a while meant he noticed and also hinted at something else...he cared...

Kisame leaned in, gently taking Itachi's hand in his."I really missed you."

Itachi felt his face redden in responce."You do?", his voice came out more shakey and hoarse than he would have liked.

"Yeah. Can't sleep without your snorin'."

Itachi's smile disappeared."Snoring? I do NOT snore, you snore.", Itachi seemed to frown.

Kisame put up his hands in defeat, ready to utter the words every man has to at some point or time in their life,"You're right."

Itachi smiled and watched as Kisame drew circles with his thumb on his palm.

Kisame leaned in slowly and stopped just short of his lips brushing Itachi's, as if asking for permission. In reply, Itachi joined their lips, initiating a soft gentle kiss. Both moaned openly into the foreign joining. Never before had their kiss been this sweet, this loving. Kisame worked his mouth a bit faster, slipping his tongue into Itachi's warm, wet mouth. The kiss continued like this until both were knocking things off the table left and right to deepen the kiss, to get closer.

A loud crash is what broke the kiss as the two looked down to see a broken pig lantern made of clay. It looked a bit haphazard, as if the artist had rushed, but now lay in several pieces.

Kisame and Itachi were about to resume kissing when a loud 'pop' was heard, followed by the smell of smoke. Kisame looked under the table to see that the pig ornament had combusted and the fire had spread to their Akatsuki robes, which Kisame had so 'ingeniously' thown under the table.

Quickly reacting, Kisame made a handsign for a simple water jutsu to put the fire out. Itachi watched with amused eyes as Kisame shamefully handed him his Akatsuki robe that now smelled of smoke, bore a huge hole, and was drenched.

Itachi merely chuckled at the sight. It had been a while since Kisame's antics had been this genuine. Although the date itself may have been a fluke, the emotion behind it most certainly were not.

Leaning in Itachi quickly kissed Kisame."Tonight was...interesting..."

Kisame found himself practically beaming. For Itachi to be interested took a lot, and the fact that Itachi was beginning, little by little, to show his emotions was a big leap towards euphoria for Kisame.

"Yes. Yes it was.", Kisame responded, holding out his hand."So...can I escort you to your room?"

Itachi smiled genuinely, making Kisame's heart rate increase."I think we can work something out."

TO BE CONTINUED...

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A/N: Okay, so review time. I have two questions. The first one is which Akatsuki members 'plan' should be next, and the ideas for the plan to go along with the character you choose? And the final question is I'm thinking about m-preg, thoughts? (Whether you would want to see it or not). If you want to see a smut of any other pairing {ex.)sasodei, kakuhida...ect.} add that in your review as well and I shall meet demand. 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer~ I neither own, nor claim ownage of the characters and settings depicted herein. I do however own the stories and plots in which I have created.

A/N:: Wow.. it's been so long since I've updated but here it is. I just have a teensy tiny request for 'ya. There's a new Disney channel show called 'My Babysitter's a Vampire' and I need your help getting it categorized onto fanfiction. So far it just started but it's great and I can see many great yaoi (slash) pairings. So CHECK IT OUT, USE ANY AND ALL CONNECTIONS to get it up on here, and if your talent lies with writing: write some fanfiction, or if you're good with computers: make Youtube vids and I'll check 'em both out. Much, much appreciated~Warnings: Slash (obviously of the boyxboy variety), PWP (this chapter is a shameless excuse for smut), plot will continue in next chapter for those not fond of lemons... Pairings: Kisaita, Kakuhida

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Chapter 5: The Weight of Your Gaze Itachi

Itachi's heart fluttered from its place within his chest. Was all of this really real? Did Kisame really speak those words? 'Did he really mean them?' Itachi thought as he replayed Kisame's words in his head. Itachi opened his arms slightly and leaned in near Kisame, feeling vulnerable, a feeling he in no way ever enjoyed.

Kisame held Itachi, feeling the slight uncontrollable tremors that ran through his shoulders. He would be there for him. He loved this man. He needed this man. Sure, Itachi wasn't perfect; he had his share of hurt and scars that couldn't be seen but were very much real, but didn't he as well?

"I love you." Kisame looked down into Itachi's eyes, his own eyes widening.

"Wait. What?" Kisame asked confused. It was all so fast. He had never, not even for a second thought he'd hear these words grace his one true desire, no- loves, lips. It was all so sudden. An overload of emotion swept over Kisame leaving him speechless, which was quite rare indeed.

"I said, 'I love you'," Itachi's voice sounded more strained.

"I love you too Itachi. More than you could ever know. More than words can describe."

Itachi gave a beautiful smile at that. One that could rival the greatest paintings, finest works of art, best sculpting. 'As beautiful as an angel's smile,' though Kisame dared not give voice to that last part; he knew Itachi would take offense.

"Well I am.. glad." Kisame was about to smile when his face stung- burned- as if he'd been hit with a metal pole. There was the quick flash of sound as Itachi's fist connected his face.

"Owwhh Whut whuss thaht for" Kisame slurred as the right half of his face began to swell.

Itachi's eyes no longer held the emotion they had, just mere moments ago, presented. His voice dropped as his eyes grew dangerous. "I just want to make it clear," Itachi tightened his grip on Kisame's shirt, "that if you ever EVER see fit to sleep with someone else that you plan on doing so in a wooden box- six feet under the ground."

"Y-yes 'Tachi"

Itachi smiled leaning up and closing his eyes for a kiss. Kisame leaned down and kissed Itachi fully and the lips. Itachi's lips parted and Kisame took the chance to taste his lover. His. Itachi was his and his alone.

Refusing to take a feminized role, Itachi slipped his arms around Kisame's waist rather than his neck. This made the kiss slightly awkward with Kisame leaning down at an angle to make up for the few inches between him and his beloved.

After a few moments Itachi just mentally said 'what-the-hell,' and put his arms around Kisame's neck.

Both their tongues danced a dance only so familiar to each other. Their tastes enticing the other. The kiss continued with both breathing harshly through their noses but ended as the first few drops of rain on their shoulders promted them inside the Akatsuki base.

Kisame and Itachi walked their way, down the hall and to their bedroom, perfectly in-step, hands laced together and eyes practically glued onto the other as they stumbled and nearly walked into several doorknobs. Kisame leaned in and kissed Itachi, who fully returned the kiss and sparked french kissing that ended when both ran out of air.

Itachi smiled as Kisame backed him up into the door of their room. Kisame leaned back a little, his weight slightly balanced on Itachi as he drew his arms around the man and began biting his neck. Kisame was careful not avoid using his canines, and laced his loves neck with a kiss after every gentle nibble to his neck.

Itachi unexpectedly moaned at the sensation, leaning back their combined weughts on the door behind him as he closed his eyes and exposed a bit more of his neck.

There was a slight creak of the door as both realized too late that the door they were leaning upon was wasn't fully closed, and both fell in, Kisame landing oh-so ungracefully on top of Itachi, who let out a loud "ouf," as he was hit with his partners full body weight.

That brought upon an awkward moment that resulted in Kisame giving a nervous laugh, which only slightly amused the Uchiha. Itachi grabbed Kisame's arm and flipped their position, now with Itachi on top and Kisame underneath, reminding Kisame that he in no way was a poor, weak, defenseless woman; he was an Akatsuki member any bit as physically strong as Kisame.

Itachi grinned, it was far too cocky to be a smile, and pulled at Kisame's shirt. He hadn't meant to, but the fabric ripped underneath his fingers. Oh well, at least now they were even on the ruined clothing bit.

Kisame's face was flushed with want- no- need for his 'Tachi. He couldn't, like most other things, put it into any words, at least ones that made sense to anyone other than him. But this need: it was a burning desire for the other man.

"Hng," Kisame moaned as Itachi's lean body grined into his more firm one. Itachi smiled, reveling in the sounds he could draw from his.. lover's lips. The name would take some getting used to, but Itachi was in no way opposed to it. 'Lover...' He actually liked the sound and all the connotations it brought along with it.

Kisame locked his arms around Itachi and stood, a bit shakey on his legs, carrying Itachi to their bed where he more dropped than set him down, although it was purely accidental- well sort of.

"Sheesh Itachi, did gain weight?" This comment resulted in a glare and slightly playful, slightly pissed off, slap to the shoulder.

"Oh Kisame... Breaking the mood already, so predictable." He knew that Kisame's whole 'smooth-talker' routine was just an act. He was in no way a smooth talker. He could be for a little while, but after that he always did find something to say to completely kill the mood. Luckily Itachi was used to his sometimes awkward ramblings, they were kinda cute, but that comment about his weight wasn't going to do Kisame any favors and Itachi was going to make sure he realized that.

"Uh baby-" that earned him another smack because Itachi could in no way, shape or form see the resemblence between himself and a helpless child. "Um, 'Tachi," Kisame paused to make sure he wasn't going to get smacked again,"you know I didn't mean it. It was, uh," Kisame didn't know what to say to save him another smack. If he said it was a joke, sure he wouldn't earn a smack, he would earn a punch; Itachi never did have that good of a sense of humor.

"As long as you didn't mean it." Itachi said with a grin. Of course he wasn't mad, he just wanted to harmlessly play with his sharks mind a little. "Now... Kiss me?" Itachi asked in a voice so innocent that Kisame forgot the moment already and was kissing the man that he was enamored with. His Itachi...

Their clothes had been discarded what seemed ages ago as they felt and tasted, remembered, every inch of each other's body. This was natural; as if they were made, only for one another, their bodies fit together like pieces to a puzzle.

As Kisame lifted Itachi's legs, Itachi put a hand on his shoulder. "No.." His voice was breathy and his words laced with desire. "Let me." Itachi repositioned himself atop Kisame and drew his member into his body, groaning at the sensation.

Kisame moaned at the tight heat enveloping him. Nothing- no one- could compare. He looked up into the glazed over eyes of Itachi and genuinely smiled, lacing his hands around his lower back.

Itachi moved his body up until only the head of Kisame's cock strained to stay inside and then down. This time both moaned, and Itachi lay both his hands on Kisame's chest as he repeated the motion.

Kisame moaned at the overload of sensations. The perfect temperature of the room, the feel of Itachi's undone hair caressing his skin. The perfect bliss of Itachi's warmth on his member. Gently sliding one of his arms from around Itachi, Kisame grasped Itachi's slick member and pumped it in time with their thrusts. The tempo increased as each fought their hardest to prolong their orgasm. Itachi's came out as a choked moan as his head rose as far back as his neck would allow and hot, sticky liquid coated Kisame's chest. Kisame came at the same time as Itachi, his hot seed spilling into his lover.

Both remained still, riding out the waves of pleasure that quite literally made them see stars and for once taking all clumsy words away from Kisame and all intricate thoughts from Itachi.

Kisame gently pulled out of Itachi when he was ready and embraced him in his arms. Itachi looked up at Kisame, who had already fallen asleep and was beginning to snore. This felt right. This was where he wanted to be. His thoughts dulled as the familar sound of Kisame's snoring and warm body lulled him to sleep.

"I love him!" Hidan declared.

Konan simply shook her head. This argument had been going around and around in circles. "No you don't. You only think that you do. What you're feeling is lust, Hidan- not love."

"That's a lie. Only I know how I feel and no one is going to tell me I'm wrong. Not you, not anyone else."

"I'm only stating the truth," Konan said with a shake of her head. "He-

"Well then I have something to say to you as well. Why don't you take that misguided sense of truth of yours and shove it up your-

"Uh, is this a bad time?" Tobi asked cautiously.

"Urggh" Hidan screamed and retreated into his room. Taking a small knife he cut his palm and lathered the blood onto it. Then he threw the knife into the wall. "Jashin.."

Hidan took his necklace off, something he never did, and held it up to the light from the candles on his table. "Fuck-it Lord Jashin. Have I not been loyal? What did I do to deserve to be in love with one who does not love me back? What can I do to make Kisame- make him look at ME with those eyes?" Without even realizing it tears fell from his eyes.

Konan sat at the table damn-well on the verge of tears herself. She had not once thought that any of her harmless love scheming could end up hurting anyone in the end. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. "It's.. All my fault," she whispered.

"What's all your fault?" She looked up into the eyes of Pein. He was standing half perched in the hallway with one leg crossed over the other.

"Nothing," Konan muttered.

"Nothing certainly does not warrant tears."

"It's just. I think I've done some things, made some mistakes with bigger consequences than I once realized, but now-

"Meddeling in others affairs usually proves fruitless," Pein retorted, voice calm.

"But- but I can fix this! I know I can.." Her voice rose an octave.

"So I see. Well we've all got work to do, don't let it cloud your thoughts," and with that he left with a small wave and a smile only Konan and the dead have ever seen.

Hidan only thought that he was in love with Kisame afterall. There was no way he was actually in love with him. What in the world did the two have in common? Except for their bloodlust, half-grins, bad jokes, thrill for the eccentric and- okay so maybe they DID have a lot in common, but didn't necessarily constitute that there was any love or emotion involved. Kisame's heart was taken; that was the end-all.

"But perhaps.. We could find someone else to distract Hidan with." Someone who can take his place, and possibly- no- definitely reciprocate his love. Konan smiled as her next plan formed. If the whole Akatsuki thing didn't work out in the end, hey- she could be a match-maker.

"So- I've called you all here today to help a fellow Akatsuki member out."

"And what do we get out of it?" Sasori asked, a blank look on his pristine, child-like face.

"You get.. A one week, mission-free vacation and Hidan!

"Wait, what un?" Deidara asked, eyebrows arched.

There was a cough heard. "I don't think even a three hundred and sixty-five day vacation is worth that," he joked laughingk  
"That's NOT FUNNY!" Konan screamed, instantly silencing the whole room.

"Okay, so Sasori, Deidara, and Kakuzu- I'm counting on you guys."

"Women," Kakuzu muttered under his breath with a roll of his eyes.

"Well all we have to do is go on a date with the guy, right un? Deidara asked with the cluck of his tongue.

"Well that's a real simplified version- but, uh, yeah." Konan smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Then I'll go first, get it out of the way un," Deidara whispered the last part.

Hidan hadn't known what else to do with his time. Sulk? Nah, he'd continue more of that later. For now he needed some excitement.

He flopped down on the couch landing right next to... Kisame. "Gah!" Hidan involuntarily yelled.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you seen a shark," Kisame grinned, obviously proud of the joke he had just told.

Hidan shook his head, bypassing the joke, or more shaking it's existance from his head. "Anyways, I need.. Advice. How would you go about-"

"Uh a word of warning," Kisame interrupted, "I'm not really good at giving advice. Maybe you should go ask Konan?"

"Would you shut up! I haven't even finished asking. Anyways like I was saying, what would by you do if you were in love with someone... But they didn't feel the same way?"

"Oh. Well you've come to the right person. So rejection, then? Yeah, I know that feeling real well. The way I look at it, you always have three options. The first is to keep trying and who knows- you could end up changing that person's mind. But that takes luck and staying positive even when things look hopeless. The second option is to just give up, move on, as hard as that may sound, sometimes it's for the best and the final option is to just find someone else." Kisame finished, rubbing his chin like a wise old man, which caused Hidan to smile.

"So don't give up, no matter how hopeless," Hidan muttered. "Got it, thanks."

"Wait who is this mystery crush of yours?"

"Well, uh.. It's uh..." He hadn't counted on Kisame asking this.

"Okay. You don't have to tell me, but is it a sexy lady or handsome devil such as myself?"

"It's a guy."

"Hm, I figured as much. Never met a girl who could handle you before," Kisame chuckled. "So, what does this mystery man look like?"

"Blue- uh blue... All, over? Uh, yeah.."

"Blue? Sounds like a handsome devil," Kisame smirked and Hidan's heart rate increased. He mentally slapped himself for saying that. "Can't wait to meet him, but I bet his looks don't surpass mine."

Then again, although Kisame was in no way stupid, he wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. And Hidan was thanking Jashin for that.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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A/N:: So review time! Thank you for all the past reviews that motivated me to get this started again. So far on the voting about 85% of you guys wanna see Kakuhida, so Kakuhida it is! And I'm getting mixed signals on the mpreg. A few people want it, most are "okay" with it and one or two people would rather do without it so my next task is to find a way to please everyone and have much faster updates. So- review, tell me what you liked or wish to see, or if you didn't like this hit the back button and don't leave flames!


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